H!P Top Ten ‘Cuddle’ List

As these things usually go I was looking at a post on one blog (in this case Paul’s Hello!Blog post here) and that led me to a post at Wotaku Now here. Basically the blogger there (who appears to also be from Britain so what that says about us I don’t know 😀 ) has done a top ten based on who they would like to “cuddle on the couch with”. Also probably in a bed with, in the kitchen over the table with, on the bonnet of a car with…or is that just me? Anyway a blogger should never let another blogger down and so by not doing a similar post this could be leaving the way open for that blogger to be criticised as being in some way abnormal and perverted. So you understand how my hands were kind of tied here right? I mean it wouldn’t do for our online community to be left open to accusations of being in some way abnormal. It’s every bloggers duty to show just how normal it is. After all normality is just a question of numbers. So with that in mind here is my list of which girls make me go all “actually is it just me or did it suddenly get really hot in here?”


Hmm…Takahashi is still my number one. Well I guess she’s the perfect girlfriend type. I’m sure in the privacy of a bedroom, or living room or wherever she’d be as passionate as any other 22 year old. It’s all about the context.

Sayumi is number two. Well see my previous post. Face of an angel, body of a model, mind of a happy and fun young teen. The perfect teen temptress in fact. I mean you get the feeling she’d be dynamite. Mind you you also get the feeling you’d spend most of your life having to buy her puppies, cute charms and flowers or something. She seems like she’d be high maintenance…but worth it. I actually think she’ll end up marrying a rich doctor or something. He’ll be older than her and she won’t see him often because he’ll be working and she’ll be in their second home somewhere sunny. Umm…this isn’t relevant is it? Anyway beautiful and funny and probably dynamite.

Yui is just the most outwardly sexually aware H!P member. She is a total tease and is really funny with it. Add to that her buxom figure and, well, go figure.

Rika is just behind Yui. Can I have them together. I’m still none the wiser as to who Rika is. Is she part Charmy? Is she part that spoilt young woman taking defeat so badly at that H!P sports festival? Is she the funny self-deprecating person who hosted Hello! Morning?  Is she the caring older sister type with just a touch of authority that some of the younger H!P members (like Sayumi) must have seen her as? Is she a goody-goody like some forum members suggest? Is she a bit of all of that? Petulant? Caring? Funny? Kind? Frankly it doesn’t matter because all of those people are beautiful in their own ways anyway. If she’s all of one or a bit of them all she is still both girlish, funny and powerful. Powerful because with a voice, face and figure like hers you know she could walk all over you and you’d let her. Or again is that just me? Oh…spiked heels. Thank you mistress. 😀

Koharu is legal. Yes she is. *Nods* She has also grown from an awkward looking young girl who could hardly walk properly into a beautiful and spirited crackhead who still looks a bit awkward but that’s just part of her charm and originality. She’s tall (by Japanese standards), has lots of energy (which would come in useful) and is just the cutest, maddest personality out there. What’s not to like? Also you know you just want to buy her loads of stuff, nurture her and make her happy. Or is that just me again?

Nakajima…well…okay she’s young but she is undeniably Sakxi…I mean sexy. Just look at her in the pv to Namida no Iro. Over the coming years she will just get prettier and hotter. Also she has that cute voice. I just want to buy her loads of stuff and make her giggle. And then introduce her to Koharu who is already in the bedroom and…wait…did I type that out loud? Damn. Well anyway the thing people forget is that everyone gets older. One day everyone will be saying she’s hot. Until that day they will all be thinking it deep down but not saying it for fear of being accused of, you know, stuff. But being honest she’s in my top ten. On the understanding that for legal reasons we wait a year obviously.

So before I get arrested seventh is Reina. Check her clothes style out. Check her yankii attitude out. Check her cheeky humour out. She could eat you alive and there’d be nothing you could do. Come on…that’s sexy.

Eighth is Maimi. A law needs passing whereby she cannot be seen out in public in a pv unless she is wearing short shorts.

Ninth is Erika. I really want Biyuden back. *Cries* It’s easy to overlook her when Yui gets so much attention and Rika was already a big star anyway. You’d be wrong to though. Erika has a really captivating look. Her mouth is my main focal point. It’s such a pretty smile.

Last is Konno. I think she’s only tenth because…well…it’s Konkon. It actually feels worse than picking Nakajima. I mean…it’s KONNO. It just feels wrong to speak of her in a lustful way. So I like it. So she’s number ten. She’s definitely attractive. It’s just I’ve always seen her as the friend type. But we all want to do stuff with friends of the opposite sex don’t we? We just don’t like to acknowledge it as it’d make things too uncomfortable. Or is that just me some more?

So there you go. Ten girls to cuddle up with. Just outside the top ten was Yuko if I could go back in time to when she was blonde with blue contacts. Seriously, prime-era Yuko would have you tied to the bed in seconds happily crying for mercy. Or is that just me yet again? Now, despite still looking attractive sometimes (seemingly depending on the mood of the stylist) she seems more like she’d rather sleep. Also just outside the top ten is Niigaki but I can’t explain why. I simply don’t know. It’s just occasionally I get this sudden, vivid fantasy about her. Mind you that’s nothing. One of the very few H!P dreams I’ve had was about Linlin. 😮 The mind is a weird place. Also just missing out is Mano who has that really innocent, well brought up vibe, mixed in with a huge dose of happy cuteness. Momoko is there or thereabouts too because she’s weird and that’s always good and Kanna needs a mention because she’s so cute and although it’s wrong  (for about another two months) it also can’t be helped. Oh and finally someone else I’m really not mentioning. If you made a cake with eggs and just had that you’d never get the full balanced meal you need to stay healthy you know.

What I find strange looking back at that list is how Kaori isn’t in there despite the fact I find her very attractive. Also no Nacchi even though she’s enjoyably and unexpectedly hot in her pb’s. Strange really. Otherwise the list isn’t too different to my original top ten list. Although the positioning is different and there’s also no Kanna or Yaguchi either. Well I adore Yaguchi but having a sexy beam isn’t something she’s famous for…despite being famous for it.

Anyway normal service will be resumed with my next post. I apologise for anyone I’ve not offended. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than apologising for this post so nothing it is. If you are an idol and I didn’t mention you please just send me your name, address, phone number, and five full sized pictures (one of which must be a full body shot and one of which must involve whipped cream) and I’ll get right back to you. Alternatively send me a video of you singing any solo Kusumi Koharu song while cosplaying and I’ll give the video my undivided attention immediately. Send me a video of you performing anything from Matsuura Aya and I’ll bin it.

If you have been affected by any of the issues in this post a helpline has been set up. Just call 0800 444 phwoar phwoar phwoar phwoar and ask to speak to Dr Miriam Stoppard.


6 responses to “H!P Top Ten ‘Cuddle’ List

  1. Pingback: Wotaku Now! » H!P Rankings GO GO!·

  2. *giggle*

    This is funny. 🙂

    You know, yesterday, I was thinking of making this cuddle list too, but then, I realized that I don’t have any girls that I really want to ‘cuddle’ with. Come to think of it, what is ‘cuddle’ anyway? urgh…

    And finally, I ended up not writing a single post yesterday. I think I must apologize Shirow here for not participating in his naughty poll. But I’m scare to tell him, coz he might be pissed off and says “why do you even bother to leave a comment if you’re not participating?” so, yeah, I’ll leave those words here. 😛

    Cuddling with the girls… u know, I can’t really imagining cuddling with someone other than my future wife (still don’t have a single clue who’ll that be). I like Eri, Ai-chan and all that, but just as idol. To me, loving someone, is not because of what we could get out of her when on bed, but because of what she feels towards us. Geez… I’m talking nonsense here. Sorry! XP

  3. Oh it’s not nonsense. I mean I don’t exactly sit around fantasising about the singers in that way all the time. All I can say is that I see them in a very positive way. I love their personalities and can’t even imagine what my life would be like without their entertaining me. Duller that’s for sure. I genuinely feel so much admiration for them. Ultimately I’m not the kind of person who uses people. In fact two years ago there was this girl who really wanted to go out with me and after a few dates I knew that it was never going to be right to me so I stopped the relationship. Some people would have just carried on anyway just to get a shag out of it. I’d never do that. You should always treat people right.

    Hmm…two years. It’s been that long? Damn. I mean there’s not exactly been a long line of other women since then asking for a date. 😦

    Oh yeah back to the point…well the first thing I notice about H!P girls is the personality. Most are very good looking but that would mean nothing if the personality wasn’t there. The few I don’t really like I dislike for their personality. It’s everything. That’s why Lovely is my number one. She’s wonderful. At the same time when I see someone like Sayumi who is both daft, funny, kind, caring, happy and has beautiful looks to match well the instinctive reaction is to feel warmth. Then to realise that the warmth is only rising. Next thing you know I’m thinking “why is it suddenly so hot?” It’s like when Yui is putting on a girly voice and acting cute for laughs. I feel like “here’s a blank cheque with my name on it. Fill in any amount you want. Buy yourself things…many things.”

    Okay I’m babbling. What I’m saying is that there’s a hell of a lot of love and respect for these girls. Anyone who would see them in purely sexual terms is missing out on so much. Anyone who looks at them in a predatory sexual way probably has the kind of personality that would miss so much of what is great with these girls. However because I love them so much and care about their well-being so much I have no guilt whatsoever in also having a healthy amount of lust in there too. Even if I don’t always admit to it it’s there. I’m a typical healthy (well healthy-ish) guy. It’s what keeps the species going. As long as you care about the girls it’s perfectly okay. But then I also really like seeing them in bikinis so perhaps that’s the difference between us. 😀

  4. Haha. This is a really nice motivation for me. Thank you so much, Morningtime, I really respect you! *salute* Somehow, you broaden my mind a bit about this girls. Yeah, I usually ‘get caught’ by their beauty before I learned about their personality, but not all of them like that. For example, yes, Ai-chan. I admit, Eri’s prettier than her, but still, there’s something special about her and that, as you mentioned, her personality.

    You know, the problem about me is, when I start to love someone’s inner beauty (personality), I don’t really have any sexual interest on her, honestly. I think, sitting on a couch together, talking and laughing and all that is enough…


    Is that what you call ‘cuddle’? If that is, I think I finally have a reason to make that ‘cuddle list’. ;P

  5. 😛
    Too bad Morningtime, I failed! I tried to list ’em, but I think I can’t coz there’s no one really in my list. There’s Maimi, Eri, Ai-chan then… I can’t find anyone else for the other seven spots. I think I’m not good at this stuff. XP

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