Well it’s been a crappy day. I lost a friend I always cared about and may well be losing my job soon. But on a lighter note the trailer for Maimi’s leg’s movie Fuyu no Kaidan, which also stars Fukuda Kanon and the upper half of Maimi is now up on Youtube. It’s accompanied by an interview thing…
It looks like a lot of fun. I demand more low-rent horror movies from H!P members. So Morningtime is proud to present the H!P film collection. Coming straight to rent at a rental outlet near you soon.
Yasuda Kei in a remake of The Exorcist. Yasuda becomes posessed by the Devil (Aya). During one memorable scene Yasuda in a dressing gown starts doing that head spinning thing (think when Utaban via computer manipulation would make her violently sweat with her head going from side to side) while vomiting sweat. Apparently the making of the movie was cursed. First of all the second cousin twice removed of the assistant director’s next door neighbour dislocated a finger while skiing. Then the whole of the Elder Club were graduated during the editing of the film. Finally just before the movie was released Tsunku went mental and reformed Mini Moni with Linlin as leader. Scary stuff. Truly the human cost of this movie was far too high.
The Omen starring Yoshizawa Hitomi as the diplomat, Ogawa Makoto as his wife and one of those two young kids (Frances or something? Nobody is sure) as the kid. Aya plays the evil nanny. The music score has been criticised as Tsunku took the brave step of having H!P members doing the operatic singing. This is fine but then he had some black guys come and rap all over it and the effect was ruined. Apparently the making of the movie was cursed. First during pre-production the dog owned by the lady living next door to the Best Boy was found to have worms, then also during pre-production Ogawa Makoto returned to Japan speaking really bad English. Finally during filming Yoshizawa Hitomi stubbed a toe playing football and Buono’s much anticipated visit to Sweden had to be cancelled after it emerged that the organisers of the event had forgot to sell any tickets. Truly the human cost of this movie was astronomical.
The Fog with Niigaki Risa playing MC Gaki the late-night phone-in host. Takahashi Ai is the Jamie Lee Curtis character. Nakazawa Yuko is the Mayoress. Aya is the fog.
The Ai starring Takahashi Ai. Lovely plays someone who receives idol talent through an operation and then starts seeing idols whose talent has died. Co-starring Kago Ai, T&C Bomber, Nakazawa Yuko, Yasuda Kei and Miki Fujimoto as the ghosts of talent past.
Mini Moni Telephone THE RING RING RING starring Yaguchi Mari, Kago Ai, Tsuji Nozomi and a token American with special co-star Takahashi Ai. Co-co starring Yajima Maimi. A young journalist (Maimi) tries to uncover just what is causing the deaths of so many young people. As news spreads of a terrible curse it soon becomes clear that when you hear the ring ring ring you’d better not answer. Otherwise you will die a terrible death while Mini Moni sing and dance in front of you.
Bram Stoker’s Nachula starring Abe Natsumi. Takahashi Ai plays the young girl smitten with the mysterious Nachula. Niigaki Risa is the man who loves her and who must fight to save her life. Michishige Sayumi, Reina Tanaka and Kamei Eri play the three vampire temptresses. The scene where the three try to engage Niigaki in a night of lustful passion has caused mixed reviews. Some say it’s an incredibly powerful and erotic scene. Others say that at over three hours in length it could perhaps have been trimmed down to allow for some plot development.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers. China in the 21st century. Young idols are going missing. Is it a communist allegory? No. It’s Tsunku snatching young women aided by that Makoto bloke. Starring Tsunku, Junjun, Linlin and that Makoto bloke.
The Mummy starring Morning Musume. While searching for idol talent in Egypt Takahashi Ai and her group The Lovelies (Reina, Sayumi, Eri, Koharu, Mitsui, Linlin and Junjun) meet mysterious Egyptian Princess Niigaki Risa. Can they escape being mothered to death by the beauty from another time? Presumably they can because two sequels are already planned. The first sequel will be called The Mummy 2 but there’s no word yet on the name of the second sequel.
Seven. Cop duo Iida Kaori (old and wise) and Reina Tanaka (young and headstrong and dressed like in those Detective Reina Haromoni@ sketches) must find out who is behind a mysterious killing spree. Up and down the country people are being killed by such audible terrors that death is instantaneous. Kusumi Koharu plays the photographer who briefly appears early on and then turns out to be the killer. Because, you know…she’s the seventh generation. In a terrifying final scene it turns out that the box contains the head of Tsunku and so H!P will exist no more. Truly a film to give you nightmares.
Don’t Look Now (or ever). All Aya Matsuura’s pv’s on one dvd.
The Stepford Wives starring Erika Umeda, Yajima Maimi and Nakajima Saki…
The Birds. Japan 2009 and around the country birds are attacking old idols and attaching themselves to their heads making them seem silly and shitting all over their reputations. Starring Nakazawa Yuko…
The Invisible Man. Tsunku is invisible but he’s watching you. Starring all of H!P.
Misery. Abe Natsumi plays a singer who has a road accident. She is saved by the seemingly kind Matsuura Aya but is then forced to watch Don’t Look Now on endless repeat until she goes insane.
Ginger Snaps. Satoda Mai plays a young woman ostracized by her record company. Bitter and Angry (Yoshizawa Hitomi and Rika Ishikawa) turn up and tell her to be bitter and angry. Becoming bitter and angry she goes on a killing spree while appearing on game shows and becoming surprisingly and justifiably popular. Can she hide the truth? Will the bodies of Erika Miyoshi and Okada Yui ever be found or will nobody even notice they are missing?
The Buono Witch Project. Buono are forced to camp out in a wood in Sweden by irate Buono fans who want to see them perform there. However the woods are haunted by the spirit of Ayaya the Witch. Can they survive the night? Can they escape the wood? Can they avoid Don’t Look Now?
Sayumi of the Dead. Michishige Sayumi plays a slacker. Living in England with her slob best friend Kamei Eri life seems to be one long glorious round of computer games, drinking and sometimes work. However a zombie virus is turning everyone into shambling Aya’s. Can Sayumi and Eri survive?
13 All Together for Black Christmas. Morning Musume members up to the fifth generation stay in a student halls one Christmas. But a dark secret at the heart of H!P is about to emerge to try and kill everyone. Can the members survive the carnage or will Asuka Fukuda kill them all? Konno Asami must try and save the day and keep all 13 together for Christmas.
Pink Christmas. Shige-Pink and Koha-Pink sing Wa~Merry Pin Xmas! at unsuspecting music lovers. Contains scenes of extreme horror.
The Shining Itoshiki Anata. Heeeeere’s Miki. Country Musume are on the rampage in an old hotel. Can Berryz Kobo escape with their lives?
The Wicker Momoko. Just what is the meaning behind the small wicker Momoko being erected in the village of Idolisle? Chinami Tokunaga must investigate the disappearance of young idol Maiha Ishimura. The village is run by Lady Miyabi. Just what terrible secret is she hiding?
All of these films will be available to buy shortly in one boxset. It costs $30 for the overseas version and $1,000,000,000 for the Japanese version.