Do you like Aya? Is your lack of an Aya photoholder album type thing getting you down? Are you willing to say something amusingly insulting about her in order to get your hands on such an item? Well if so then read on.
Sometimes you end up unintentionally owning some right bizarre stuff. For me the things I own through no fault of my own include…
I should add that the Maki badge is two-sided so that’s just one badge. Also the Nacchi fanclub cd is great but I actually have the 10 together in the limited edition case thing. I have no idea who the two figures together are. Basically I got all these items though a thread on Hello! Online (now defunct. The thread that is. Not Hello! Online). The thread was one where you’d pay a certain amount and get a fixed number of random H!P items. The thing is you could pay for 100 items and get 90 trading cards, a badge, and all sorts of other stuff. Or you could get an autograph, 50 pictures, a pb and, well, all sorts of other stuff. I got a Mano Erina limited edition fanclub meeting bag thing. At least I think that’s what it is. I also got some other neat stuff including a photobook from some old H!P concert and frankly I miss the thread a bit. Oh and I filled in some gaps in my trading card collection too. But all the items above I don’t need so one day when I can be bothered I’ll probably ebay them and see if I can get more than 20 pence profit. However that’s slightly immaterial. Looking at the thread title you should know by now what’s coming. Yes the worst merchandise I have is…
Yes it’s a photoholder album thingummy from Ayayayayayayayayaaaaa’s Otona no Namida concert tour spring 2006. I know that because it says so on the back. It’s just about big enough to fit the smaller pictures in it. To demonstrate here’s what it looks like with a Linlin pic in it…
I think it has about 14 or so pages so if you double-sided the pics back to back you could fit around 28 disturbing munchkin Aya pics in there.
So now onto the business at hand. You can’t buy this item in the shops (in any country outside of Asia, possibly outside of Japan. Maybe not even in Japan. I have no idea really) but you, yes you, or even you over there, could get your hands on this item of evil, disturbingly fake-winsome idol paraphernalia for free. Yes you heard me right, free. How? Well I’ve decided to have a little competition. Simply reply in this thread with an insulting comment about Aya and you will have a chance of winning this item. Now before anyone starts whining (really there’s too much heartfelt whining goes on in online fandoms…all online fandoms) this is meant to be funny. So I don’t want anything really nasty being said. No physical harm should be implied and no calling her sexuality into question. No racism, xenophobia (don’t they produce Girls Aloud’s songs?) or sexism either. Other than that away you go. I will leave this competition open for about a week. Let’s say until sometime of my choosing next Sunday (9th August). If there is more than one entry (and oh god I hope there is) I may have a public poll to decide the winner or I may go all fascistic. It’s my choice.
So the terms and conditions. I will pay the postage and packing to any destination in the world. Yes even Australia (just a joke you Aussies. I shouldn’t kick a great cricketing nation when it’s down. I’m sure you’ll rise from the Ashes once more. Ahem. What? It’s part of a great Aussie-Brit tradition of really taking the piss out of each other. Both sides would miss it if it disappeared. Unlike Neighbours and Home & Away). I can’t guarantee it’s safe delivery but I can guarantee it will be sent, providing this cold I have doesn’t turn out to be swine flu and providing there are no disasters in my life over the coming weeks. I reserve the right to extend the deadline, cancel the competition or delete this thread and pretend it never happened, at my discretion. The competition is only open to inhabitants of the planet Earth. Instead of paying for this item the winning bidder may like to make a donation to a charity of their choice. Perhaps the Buy Reina A Hot Dinner Organisation or the Help The Forgotten Heroes Society that helps Miyoshi and Yui and other now overlooked idols adapt to life away from the music industry. As for the entries, well you can make pictures, videos or sodding poetry as long as it’s funny. You can link to external sites if needs be. By external I mean Youtube or picture hosting sites. I do expect the entries to be new creations though. If you really can’t think of anything bad to say then I may turn a blind eye and allow entries that give other reasons why the entrant should win the competition. The winning entrant will hopefully have Twitter or Facebook or an account at H!O or Musume-Central so I can actually contact them but if not we’ll sort something out. Oh and the photo holder obviously doesn’t come with a pic of Linlin. Finally I am willing to accept sexual favours provided you are female and over the age of 18. Oh and fit.
P.S. If you know of anyone who likes Aya and may like to attempt getting their hands on this item please point them in the right direction. So point them to this blog or over a cliff. Either is fine.
P.P.S. That was a joke. I don’t really hate her or her fans that much. No. On the contrary just point them to this blog or slap them about a bit.
P.P.P.S. That was a joke too. That should be clear really. I don’t hate any H!P members or fans. Well except one or two fans. You know those ones who post comments on the H!O picboard just to have a go at someone? Like “ho ho ho aren’t the Ongaku Gatas Eggs ugly” types? I don’t like them. I mean I’d never post a bad word about Aya somewhere like that. Live and let live is my motto. Thsi is just a bit of fun. It’s like my thing. Everyone has a thing. Mine is dissing Aya. Well you gotta have a hobby.
Edit: Since I would like this item to go to a fan of hers I will also allow entries that attempt to make me see how I’m wrong to think she’s really not that good. Have I overlooked something? Just what am I missing out on? Feel free to tell me.
Morningtime 
Heh, figures. It would just have to be the one piece of Aya merchandise I actually already own…
Just reply? That’s too easy… I think I’ll ask my fren to make a hate video and post it on youtube. 😀
It’s easy to reply. It’s not necessarily easy to win!
That reminds me of Aya’s motto. “It’s easy to sing, it’s just not easy to sing well. For me, it is impossible!”
Okay, that was lame, but I did want to try. After all, I could use another photocard holder… 😀
Well so far you are the only entrant so you never know!
You sure that Linlin photo card’s not part of the offer? I mean, it would add some ACTUAL value to the prize. Who would just want Aya, after all? I gotta be honest, a photo of ANY of the current lineup would make it a much more valuable prize package… 😉
*avoids glares from Ayaya* XD
…
Uh… so, pretending I didn’t read all that “please insult Aya” bits XD… In case you were wondering who those figurines are of, it’s Kei and Mari. ^_^
The Aya fangirl in me will not allow me to even jokingly insult her to try and win this prize. XD
That’s Kei? Okay I get Mari. It was either her or Yuko. But for the other one I was thinking Maki or Nacchi. Kei? They should have used that Utaban figure instead. 😀
Have a few one liners on Aya…
Ayashii Matsuura = strange Matsuura
AyaMatsu(ra) = admit to something wrong
Matsutake Aya = Mushroom Aya
Oh well
Well I like the AyaMatsu one. And at least someone has had a go. I was wondering if nobody would enter. 😛
lol. i just am not dazzled by Ayaya enough to even be interested in entering. but it’s a cool idea. ^^
XD
Not dazzled by Aya? I’m not alone. YES!
>w< you didn't know? it's not like i hate her….. but i just never found her worth my time. a couple of her songs are cute but other than that…..meh. and i'd like to say that she looked ridiculous in that wig for 3nin matsuri. aibon and rika looked alright but ayaya…… ow. he eyebrows made her look weird. XD
Yes! More! More! 😀
uh……she looks really weird in her early PVs and concerts?
And also in the later ones.
I already discussed with my Momusu-loving fren about doing a vid on it. He asked me if he can do a vid trying to convince you why Aya should not be hated? My fren likes Mikitty and Aya …=.=’
Sure your friend can try. I m ean he’ll probably fail but…
😛
Hmmm, Ayaya bashing I’m up for some of that ;p
Hmmm, insulting? How can I insult someone so perfect as Ayaya?… Well the only thing that comes to mind is how much of a twat I thought she was in the extras or YoYo Girl Cop, but then that’s not really funny, just fact, meh I hate people that act and think they’re too good to watch the originals….especially saying it whilst sitting next to the star of them 😦
@Hexi, “she looked ridiculous in that wig for 3nin matsuri”…no way! I’ve always consider the odd looking one in that PV to be Rika
Oh I agree with you about the extras on YoYo Girl Cop. Smug comes to mind. A great sense of self-importance likewise.
As for 3 nin…they were all dressed horribly and were wearing silly pink wigs. Yet you say only one of them was odd looking? 😛 To be fair I know where you’re coming from. Rika is darker skinned so the pink wig looked even worse on her. Which is a shame as I dislike the song a lot and the only member I really like is Rika.
the only good song to come out of that shuffle era was the 10nin matsuri one that i can’t remember the name of. but it was fun. and yossie was so pretty in that PV!
There were very few shuffle songs I actually liked. That summer reggae thing was okay and so was 11 Water’s Be All Right. Oh and that one where they all badly pretended to play guitars. The blue group one. Can’t remember the name. Makoto was in the pv. Also that Kiiro 5 one too. Most of the rest were just forgettable.
Totally, it was so painful to watch.
And yea, her skin colour is what really makes her look odd with the pink wig on, it’s just not quite right.
I think the 7nin Matsuri outfits had to be the worst from that bunch of shuffle units.
Oh how can you say that? Who hasn’t at some time or another wondered what Yaguchi would look like as a rastafarian?
Summer reggae rainbow oh oh oh summer reggae rainbow oh oh oh.
Ah it was great.
the shuffle units started off my H!P obsession. a mixture between that and Sakura Gumi (Yossie biting that cloth! X.x)
so i liked alot of the shuffle group stuff. it was just fun music. ><
Paul got wordpress?
Paul got Linlin’d.
Well Sakura Gumi were great (especially Sakura Mankai). As were Otome Gumi (especially Yuujou whatever it was called). I still think a lot of the shuffles stuff was poor.
Na, well apart from ptom but that’s totally different, I just got fed up of seeing that ugly grey pic everytime I posted, plus I need to get my Linlin love out there, so who better to have as my avatar…it’s showing right? Lol, on my browser I’m still getting the crappy grey thing :S
Some of the shuffles weren’t so great, but I think for the most part they were good, it’s good to get some variation and the like. I still don’t know which I prefer out of Sakura and Otome Gumi, both were great.
Wow, no wonder I kinda heard ‘paul thomas’ from somewhere. You are the author of Hello!Blog where I did all the polls.
Keep the good work going man. ^^
hmm…… i was about to put sakura gumi but otome gumi had some excellent stuff too…… hmmm……. tough decision indeed! XD
the 2005 shuffles were awful. that song mikitty did with megumi and miyabi was good-ish. and the puri puri pink song when sung by someone else was pretty good same with the elegies song but on average they weren’t great.
i think the “happy” shuffles were best.
Lol. LinLin’d. i’ve totally become a LinLin fan recently too. so much so she’s added to my phone strap collection. XD
Sakura Mankai was the best song so Sakura Gumi were the best group.
*Nods*
But both were still better than most actual shuffle groups.
that’s cause they weren’t shuffle groups! >w<
*munches on pocky*
Sakura Mankai was my favourite of all the splitter groups songs i guess. so yeah. sucks they didn't perform it in concerts more than just at that time…..
Aya is my first love. I would never have discovered H!P or therefore this blog without her. I love Aya. I do not want anything that would be gained by the bad-mouthing of her. Even in jest. She is amazing. From an early blog entry of mine on how I came to discover H!P:
DOKI DOKI LOVE MAIL!
So, for these keeping scrore, I had just blindly purchased (at the newly foud Japanese book/DVD store here in NYC) a DVD with a very cute face on the cover. Not knowing who or what it was. When I got home, I popped it in the ol’ Region-Free DVD player. Now, I was kind of expecting to be dissapointed, I mean what were the odds, really? I had no idea what I was about to witness. It would change my life, in terms of dictating the future of my listening pleasure and opening me up to a whole new world of music that would bring me so much joy.
It was, of course, Aya Matsuura’s very first collection of PV’s. And the first song and video to come on was “Doki, Doki, Love Mail”. That face, the sounds, the colours, within 5 seconds, I was absolutely over the moon! I couldn’t get over it. I was amazed at the sophistication at work in the musicality of the song, the layers of sound, almost like a modern day Phil Spector-ish “Wall of Sound”(wiki him kids), the bridge, the chorus, how it built in power, it was heaven, and that girl! She just was so charismatic, cute and between her, the song itself and the colourful, playful video, I was hooked.
Take your contest and shove it up your Bigaku!
(and I meant that in the nicest, most disturbingly fake-winsome way)
Is it Pocky Hexi? The only stuff I’ve found is called Mikado instead. It’s the same but yet somehow it’s not really.
Mozenator – Hmm…Aya…Phil Spector…Aya…Phil Spector…Aya…No. Even I won’t go that far for a joke. 😛
well, the Phil Spector reference is to Tsunku’s own Wall of Sound, of course, but how dare you imply a gunshot to the face!
Aya simply is by far the most talented person ever to grace the H!P stable. She has perfect pitch as eeidenced by her acapella, especially the haunting version of Love Namida Iro during the concert this prize is from in 2006.
She grew and matured from a spastic, giggly girl into a mischievious, curvaceous and glamorous woman with talent to burn. She PWNS the stage when she’s on it. She is one of very few H!P members that can hold there own on stage solo, and the ONLY one who can do it with 100% win.
She was great in concert even as a kid with the backing tracks and all. A real pro. But in 2006 when she started doing Jazz version of her songs, introducing real instruments in her shows and changing her famous song structures into something new and truly artistic, she reached a whole new level. Her tour Aya the Witch last year cemented her trun around into a complete live artist with a full band. Amazing show.
I subjected my 70 year old (very cool) parents to my tehn new love of H!P early last year and showed them tons of stuff. My father who was in the music business here in New York City back in the day (60’s with Dylan and such) said of everyone that by far, she was the real deal and could make it over here with right push. This I already new, but it was cool to hear pops say that.
She is also stunning. In her last single, Chocolate Damashii, (great song that no one bought, how sad) she ahd a broken toe and for the video shoot couldn’t move around very well. Didn’t matter one jot. She held the camera with her charisma and beauty and no one else could pull off the outfit! Stripes, polka dots and a tiny little hat and make it seem so….HOT.
whew. ok I’m done.
Well personally I’ve never liked her music so that would always be a big factor in any interest I could have had for her. Also her personality isn’t to my taste. But it’s clear that Aya has had the same impact on you as earlier Morning Musume (and certain members in particular) had on me.
I do agree that using real instruments does improve live shows a hell of a lot. I’ve seen enough Nacchi live dvd’s to know that. Plus on the very rare occasions Morning Musume have been lucky enough to use a live band it’s such a richer experience.
it was indeed pocky. the real stuff. hooray for not living too far away from london and being able to go to the japan centre lots.
i still have some in my drawer. think i’m gonna have to stock up before i go off to uni…..
There should be a Japan centre in the North West. There should!
I respect your opinion, I just don’t understand it. Her music, by and large is written by Tsunku, as I know you know, just as MM, Berryz, C-ute, Nacchi, Miki, et al are. While he does give everyone a little bit of a different musical character, it’s still all pretty much in the same sounding universe. You really don’t like ANY of her songs? Kiseki no Kaori Dance? I Know? Goodbye Natsu? Love Namida Iro? Nothing? Or do you just really dislike her personality so much that that colors your opinion of the music? Just curious.
oh, and when has Momusu used live instruments? I didnt know about that!
Aya’s personality enriches/ruins her music depending on the personal opinion of her. To me I just need to hear her and it’s like fingernails on a blackboard. Whether that’s the personality colouring my opinion of her music I’m not even sure. I really don’t like her voice either way. I could maybe forgive the voice if I liked the person. I mean I have cd’s of Koha which wouldn’t usually be my type of thing but her sheer force of personality changes something that could have been awful into something scarily enjoyable. Aya’s singing just does nothing for me.
I think with solo singers the personality is always cultivated to suit the music or vice versa. You can’t really say Mano Erina was typical H!P music, at least not until the latest singles. Nacchi’s music fits her well (except Koi no Telephone GOAL) and Aya’s music fits her. I don’t think just because the songs are written by the same person that means both will be automatically liked by the same people. I like Nacchi (although not so much the way she talks to the audience during live shows. It’s all so false) although obviously I prefer certain songs and song styles to others. Aya I’ve never gotten into. Perhaps because I never had a reason to want to. I still don’t have a reason.
There was a time when I really liked Miki Fujimoto (I’ve cooled on her a bit since then but the respect is still there). I tried getting into GAM back then and couldn’t despite having an interest in one member. To be fair at that time I didn’t have much of an opinion on Aya either way. My opinion has become firmer since then as I’ve watched and listened to more tv appearances and songs. Aya and Morningtime…it’s just really not meant to be.
Oh and Morning Musume have only really used live musicians for tv shows. There’s an appearance on some show where they sing with Pink Lady. They come on to do The Peace! and the song morphs part way through into a Pink lady song and then back again (if memory serves me right). The orchestra doing The Peace! nearly blew my head off. It sounded so good. Also there have been other tv appearances with live backing. Most recently a version of Love Machine with an orchestra. Not as good as The Peace! though. Somehow the sound is much more satisfying when played live. Then again I was always into alternative music so I’ve always been less of a pop music fan than a fan of independent bands.
Cool. To each his own. Ayaya Rules!