Paul over at the HelloBlog has recently done a picspam post all about everyone’s favourite huge foreheaded idle talent Mitsui Aika. Now everyone has their own opinion of course but for me I’d always thought Woof Woof (as I liked to call her) was a bit of a waste of space. With no looks or personality that’s worth bothering with I never really liked her being in Momusu. However having looked at Paul’s picspam I’ve slowly started to realise that actually she does have some good aspects. Now obviously in terms of dancing, singing and stage presence she’s pretty much invisible so my post will mainly concentrate on her physicality. So with that in mind here is my very own Mitsui Aika picspam. You lucky people.
Clever use of HUGE WHITE THING to hide HUGE FOREHEAD. Also cute friend. Well I say “friend” but I think we all know the truth is ‘cute passing acquaintance who won’t be keeping in touch after the graduation/disbanding’.
Who needs vanity when you can just not have any? A photograph? Today? Well I’d better just rough my hair up a bit. Aww. Sweet.
The thing with idols is they should appeal to a wide range of people. You only have to look at the spread of H!P fans on the net to see this. A pretty much equal gender mix and a broad age range. Mitsui however has identified one area that idols normally overlook. There’s one section of society that doesn’t tend to find any idols that appeal to them. Here Mitsui has made herself up so that they can relate to her more easily. That is such a good thing to do. I wub her for it. Really. That homeless Glaswegian meths addicts now have an idol they can relate to can only be seen as a positive thing.
I really like the Platinum 9 Disco outfits and fair’s fair Mitsui looks just as good as the others in hers. I like the boots and I like the dress and her legs look very nice here too. Okay her huge chin and forehead and her generally retarded looking facial expressions do ruin the overall look but even so, nice legs.
Mitsui getting behind the camera. I approve. I’d suggest this is something she should look to do more often.
The one benefit of being quite stumpy is that it does give you a bit of meat on your chest. So there’s another positive.
Being a devil-worshipping AKB48 fan can be hard. So thank heave…thank Hell for Mitsui. She ensures that you can continue to support AKB safe in the knowledge that somebody else is already working their evil magic on H!P. H!P’s destruction is assured.
Mitsui is very much there as the idol the underdogs support (and I use the term “underdog” advisedly). As well as homeless Glaswegian meths addicts she also appeals to smackhead northern prostitutes as can be seen by her facial expression and overall demeanour in that pic. She’s trying to wave down a car you know.
Many’s the time I’ve thought about how Down’s Syndrome sufferers could do with idols to support too. Well again here Mitsui provides the goods. Blessed with a face that already leans towards that area here Mitsui takes that and works it to the max. The simplistically retarded expression of joy at having successfully managed to get the spoon into her mouth WITHOUT ANY HELP WHATSOEVER is something that most Down’s sufferers can relate to. Bless her.
Well I like to think I’m a fair type of person so I hope any Mitsui fans can appreciate the lengths I’ve gone to here to concentrate on her positives.
Morningtime will return in a much nicer post at some future stage. Morningtime is contractually obliged to say that he’s only joking really. He doesn’t actually hate any idol and really the slow death march of Morning Musume is more to do with Tsunku than with any ugly and talentless idols he chose over more attractive and talented ones.
P.S. This post is humour and even though there’s an element of truth in all I have said I don’t expect it to be taken too seriously. As the saying goes ‘we all have our crosses to bear’ and Mitsui’s involvement in the group I love is like some kind of punishment from God himself for something I must have done. The only thing I can think of is that when I was six I punched my best friend after an argument over who was going to sit next to the new kid at school after lunch. Well God I’m sorry. I repent. Now will you please get Mitsui out of the wonderful idol group that changed my life in so many positive ways? Pleeeease? Okay I’ve gone off on a tangent there. What I meant to say was if you like Mitsui Aika please don’t hit me, I bleed easily…if you like Mitsui Aika and feel you need help then call the Samar…wait…oh yeah if you like Mitsui Aika then like her with all you’ve got. Celebrate whatever the hell it is you see in her. In fact you should totally petition H!P to graduate her so she can concentrate on a solo career. Go on do it. Do it for Mitsui. I’ll even chuck my name on the petition. Good luck to her. She wasn’t born with much but due to Tsunku’s unique mid-life breakdown and subsequent loss of senses she now has a job many could only dream of. It’s good to see her celebrate that by never moaning or looking unhappy.