Ai Kago Blows a Skunk

Formspring me! You, yes you the humble Morningtime reader, can ask me anything. You lucky people.

Questions Answered

What H!P item do you not own that you wish you did?

The Limited Edition fanclub only dvd Ai Kago Blows a Skunk.

What’s the furthest you’ve ever traveled?

ALL THE WAY. Fnaar. Etc.

If you could be on one TV show which one would it be?

Morningtime shags…

It’d be a bit like the tv show When Louis Theroux Met…only it’d involve me meeting Japanese idols and then having sex with them. Obviously it’d be post-modernistic irony dressed up as tawdry porn…or something.

Do you believe there’s intelligent life on other planets?

I’m not even sure there’s intelligent life on this planet.

If you could live anywhere in the universe with any girl from H!P, where would you live and with whom?

The who is easy. Takahashi Ai-chan! The where is harder. A cottage somewhere remote with beautiful countryside. Maybe a small island. Somewhere eternally romantic. ^^

Do you find yourself more attractive than Aika?

Yes. Don’t you?

If you had to choose between marrying Mitsui Aika or Matsuura Aya and suicide wasn’t a third option who would you choose?

Mitsui Aika or Matsuura Aya? MA or MA? Oh…their names are so similar. Spooky. Well probably I’d choose Aya because even though she looks like a boy or an evil chipmunk she’s still better looking than Aika.

do you like the hello project kids?

Yes but I couldn’t eat a whole one. Ahahahahaha. No but seriously when you say H!P kids I always think of C-ute and Berryz. C-ute are great. Berryz have their moments.

beside hello project, what other jpop music do you listen to?

Shokotan, not much else really unless something catches my ear by chance.

Do you believe in fate?

Well I don’t want to tempt anything by answering that.

do you like s/mileage?

Is Aika ugly? Does Ai-chan have a nice bottom? Is Sayumi self-centred? Is Konno intelligent? Is Junjun funny? Yes. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!

Do you like anime/manga?

Umm…not really. I like the look of the front covers though. Does that count? Oh and I like those ‘interesting’ computer games you can get from Jlist but I’m not sure if that counts either. 😀

If your house was on fire and you could only grab three things, what would they be?

Konkon Rabbit, car keys, Ai-chan pb to keep me warm on those cold nights now I’m probably homeless since the place will probably burn down.

What website do you spend the most time on?

Twitter…BRB. Suicide.

What’s your favourite AKB song?

Oh I like them all equally. I mean that. I really do.

Do you think Shirow likes Beckii Cruel really?

Hmm…I think in all probability…maybe? Deep down?

would you rather eat a puppy or have herpes? you HAVE TO PICK! like, someone is holding a gun to your head and you have to PICK ONE.

Well Fujimoto Miki has herpes doesn’t she? So I’d eat a puppy.

Are you a fan of Coconuts Musume?

Not really. I found them boring musically. I always liked Ayaka though. Oh and Leeloo Housewife or whatever her name was did have moments where she was a bit sexy in a cheap American whore way (the tongue bit in that sports car song’s pv). Not now though. Ironically now Mrs Hawaii looks about 25 years older than she is due to excessive use of make-up (Sayumi be concerned). Mika Todd was likeable enough but unexceptional. Danielle of course is less attractive than a coconut crab.

If you had never got into Momusu who would be your favourite idol?

Billy.

We know about your weekly visits at the secret base in Spitzbergen. Do not deny it. Which H!P member(s) attend those meetings?

Mitsui, Maasa, Ogawa Makoto, Sayu and Hirano Tomomi. We’re secretly working with Yasushi Akimoto. H!P’s fall is almost complete. Welcome to your new rulers the AKB Empire. We just need to take out Princess Ai and victory is assured.

if Sayumi says to you that she’d like a Five way with you, Ai, Reina and Eri … what would your answer be? oh and you’d have to buy 10 kilos of molten chocolate and marshmallows….

Easiest question ever. Yes. YES. YES. YES. OH GOD YES. So to clarify I’d be reasonably eager.

between making love to ayaya and having Aika kiss you .. which one would you choose

Death? Well to be fair if I could have the lights out then Ayaya. She can at least look cute…in the dark. Even in the dark Aika’s huge misshapen forehead would stick out in the moonlight. Plus the thought of getting it on with her in any way, shape or form makes me repulsed.

If you has to wipe out from history one H!P group which one would it be?

Tough one. Does it include shuffles? Because then it gets even tougher. I’ll say GAM though just to reduce Ayayayayayayayayayaya’s evil influence over H!P a bit.

Most bangable C-ute member?

Hmm…well Nacky is my favourite member and she’s always had that cute lolita sweet face with that hint of insecurity. Major turn on. But then Maimi has Maimi’s thighs. Plus Maimi is very athletic. It’s a tough choice. Damn tough. I think I’d have to cheat and go for a threesome with the two of them. Maimi can lead the way.

If Aichan had down syndrome would you still pork her?

No as it would be a bit like doing it with Maasa.

How about Most Bangable Berryz?

No such thing? Well alright Chinami is okay and Miyabi at least looks like she’d make a good fist of things. In as much as she looks like she’d like beating the shit out of you. So Miyabi then.

If you had to choose a girl from Morning Musume to vomit in your mouth which girl would it be?

Hmm…well I can only imagine Ai has a healthy diet so I’d go for her. Also Ai being such a goody goody it’d turn me on in a really creepy and disgusting almost can’t live with myself kind of way. Which is nice. Then I’d vomit all over Mitsui’s career.

Who would you bang in Morning Musume?

Takahashi Ai, Junjun, Reina Tanaka and Michishige Sayumi. I’ve heard Mitsui sucks hard but I wouldn’t even attempt to find out.

who’s your favorite member in Berryz Kobo?

Well Momoko Batshit Insanity Tsugunaga has the most, and indeed ONLY, personality in the group. This makes her the most entertaining. So I’ll say her. However I do have a bit of a soft spot for both Captain and Chinami. Chinami mainly for this…

Will the Euro collapse?

No. The bigger countries will just buy up the smaller countries. Like telling the Greeks to sell some islands.

Why don’t you like Mitsui?

Firstly she’s been in Momusu quite a long time now. What has she done to make her mark? Been whiny. Her expressions are always annoying, her personality is annoying, she even looks annoying. She can’t sing all that well so that can’t be used in her defence. She just doesn’t seem like an ‘idol’ to me. So many different personalities can make for an idol but she manages to appear to be the most wrong Momusu member since Fukuda Asuka. I actually find her kind of embarrassing. There are others I’ve not been that into but none have made me wince until she came along. She’s deadwood.

If you had to perform at the circus, what trick would you do?

Make Koha appear out of a box and sing Balalaika while two odd bears dance about in the background. It’d probably frighten the children but I don’t like children.I do lika Koha in a very short dress however. Hmm…maybe I’d make her disappear back into the box with me. ^_^

What’s your favorite Hello! Project song? It can be more than one.

Renai Revolution 21 is my fav Momusu song and the song that got me into H!P. Just for getting me into H!P it’ll probably always be my fav H!P song. Well it’s like an historical moment. For C-ute my fav is Forever Love. Berryz probably Piriri to Yukou. Biyuden’s version of Nanni mo Iwazu ni I Love You is another fav though. In recent times the best Momusu song has been Take Off Is Now and I’d love to hear more like that. Actually though my favourite H!P performance is the whole of H!P performing Ame no Furanai Hoshi de wa Aisenai Darou. I just love that. It’s a perfect celebration of life live moment.

do you like AKB48?

Hmm. An interesting question. Do I ‘like’ AKB 48? Well I’m actually not really that interested in them. I dislike their presence on Hello! Online. Also of course being such a big H!P fan I dislike their taking over as Japan’s premier idols but then that’s not their fault. As for their music I’ve never really been too fussed and there’s just too many of them for their personalities to grab me. It’s hard to come in new to such a large grouping. With H!P I got into MM first and the others much later. So the answer is no but I don’t actually dislike them.

Are you a morning or night person?

Can’t answer. Sleepy. I’ll wake up properly later. Ahh Ai-chan, Junjun, Nacky, Maeda come back here…zzz

Name something that you dislike about each member of Morning Musume?

Ai-chan – Can’t think of anything. I mean it.

Niigaki – Constantly bad hair styles.

Eri – Childish and coy.

Michishige – Bad skin (still it’s better than Mitsui. She has bad fur). Also bitchy personality and overly confident.

Reina – A bit chav-like at times.

Koharu – Sorry force of habit. Why do you mock me Tsunku? WHY?

Mitsui – Too numerous to mention.

Junjun – Her eyebrows.

Linlin – She’s not Junjun.

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