Eight Go Mad on Tsunku’s Island

Exclusive excerpts from the forthcoming novel by Enid Blight-on-Aika’s-Career.

Shipwrecked and stranded on the strange island they had just discovered, the famous eight trekked deeper into the island towards the huge mountain.

Eri: I’m tired.

Niigaki: We’ve only been walking for 15 minutes.

Eri: Well my baggage is heavy.

Niigaki: Well considering we were only going on a boat for a weekend fan-club sight-seeing tour why have you got so much stuff anyway?

Eri: Well I need it all in order to mess up my room.

Niigaki: Well that figures. Even so you’re only carrying one small handbag and even that you’re only carrying because you couldn’t fit anymore on Mitsui’s back.

Mitsui: Woof.

Eri: Well even so it’s heavy. Anyway carrying your own handbag is something for 23 year olds.

As the Momusu eight reach deeper into the island the huge mountain face greets them.

Niigaki: Well it looks like there’s no way to go but up.

Reina. You are kidding right? It’s huge. It’ll take us all night.

Niigaki: Well we’ll just have to camp at the top somewhere. There looks like some caves half-way up. We can snuggle up together there.

Niigaki gives Ai a quick glance and smiles to herself.

Ai: Why is mountain big-sized?

Junjun: Because your brain is small-sized?

Niigaki glares at Junjun. “If only Junjun wasn’t here I’d have my pick of all of them” she thought to herself.

*************************************************************************

The mountain trail wasn’t easy. Thick corpse made the trek hard and dangerous. Taking a break, Niigaki sat the other 7 down for a rest. Handing out the Pocky rations she reflected on the stupidity of the ship’s Captain allowing Sayu the wheel. Even though Sayu’s sense of direction is about as bad as her balance it may have been alright if she hadn’t kept looking in a hand mirror. The ship had hit the rocks before anyone knew what was happening. It was lucky all of Momusu were on the top deck with the Captain. The Captain himself was brave of course, going down below to try and help the fan-club members up the stairs. But at their age it was a hard task and the ship was swamped before even one elderly Japanese businessman could reach the top. “Ah well” thought Niigaki. “What’s done is done. Anyway it’s not the first time Michishige has caused a catastrophe. Just think of Rainbow Pink. Still she may as well make herself useful now.”

Niigaki: Sayumi, go up to the top of this ridge and tell us what you can see.

Sayumi: Hai! Usa-Chan peace.

Sayumi makes her salute and sets off.

Niigaki: Right has anybody got any ideas where we are or what we can do? Ai-chan?

Ai-chan: (nervously laughing) Ehehehe. He.

Junjun: Yeah thanks for that input.

Niigaki: (annoyed) Okay Junjun give us your ideas? Can you help? Hey you’re a panda. Can you eat your way through this terrain?

Junjun: Fuck you.

Niigaki: Happily. Okay Reina? Reina! Reina for fucks sake stop taking pictures of yourself on your mobile.

Reina: They’re for my blog. MY blog. Do you have a blog Niigaki-san?

Niigaki: No. I have better things to do with my time.

Niigaki glances quickly at Ai again and allows herself a quick moment of warmth deep down in her vagina.

Eri: Well don’t look at me. Finding solutions to things is something for a 23 year old.

Niigaki (sighing) Of course it is. Well that means it’s all down to Ai-chan then.

Eri: Okay good point. I can see the flaw in my logic.

Niigaki: Linlin what do you think?

Linlin: (smiling broadly) Well I think it’s a lovely day for a walk. When I finally crawled onto the beach I borrowed Sayumi’s mirror, looked in it, smiled and said “yes I feel happy on this island”. I find it helps.

Niigaki: (under her breath) Give me strength.

Reina: Maybe I’ll be able to get a signal on my mobile when we get nearer the top of this mountain?

Niigaki: Great point. Then we’d be able to call for help.

Reina: Eh? Oh…right…yeah. Also I’ll be able to post these pictures I’ve just taken of myself up on my blog.

Everyone slowly turns and looks at Reina with disdain.

Niigaki (turning her head to look behind her) HEY SAYUMI DO YOU SEE ANYTHING?

Sayumi: YES! I’M STILL CUTE TODAY.

Niigaki: SAYUMI…PUT THE FUCKING MIRROR DOWN.

Sayumi: Aww. OKAY…I CAN SEE MY CHIN. IT’S KAWAII.

Niigaki: PUT THE FUCKING MIRROR ALL THE WAY DOWN!

Sayumi: (sighing) Oookay. ALL I CAN SEE IS MORE MOUNTAIN.

Niigaki: Right well there’s nothing we can do but press on. Has Mitsui finished her bowl of water?

Eri: Looks like it. You okay Mitsui? You ready to go on?

Mitsui. (wagging tail excitedly) Woof! Woof!

*************************************************************************

Reaching the cave mouth just before sunset the Momusu 8 gladly fall in and break out the rations again. There’s still half a mountain to climb but that would have to wait until tomorrow.

Niigaki: Hey go easy on the rations. There’s only so much Pocky you know.

Niigaki wondered deep down if it wouldn’t have been better to grab some tins of food before diving into the sea but gosh Pocky is just so addictive. Even so she wondered if the nutrition value made it worth it. Then again since the only tins she could see contained fucking Spam what difference did it make anyway? Other than pissing off Reina who for some absurd reason loves Spam.

Eri: I’m cold. Mitsui come here and snuggle up to me.

Mitsui: Woof. (Panting) He he he.

Niigaki: (eagerly) Great idea. We should all snuggle up for the night.

Junjun (also eagerly) YES!

Niigaki: Okay lets pair up. Ai-chan can sleep with me.

Junjun: And I’ll have Reina.

Reina: Err…I’d rather lie with Sayumi.

Junjun: Tough. Sayumi wants to lie with Linlin. Don’t you?

Sayumi: Not rea

Junjun (interrupting) Good. That’s settled then.

Sayumi: Why is it so cold?

Niigaki: (wrapping her legs around Ai) Because it’s going dark. When the sun goes down it does get colder you stupid bitch.

Sayumi: Yeah but the draft behind me is making my back cold.

Niigaki: What draft?

Sayumi: The draft coming from the tunnel over there.

(Assorted cries of “Huh?” “What tunnel?” and “woof?”)

“Shit!” thought Niigaki. “Now we’ll have to investigate. Maybe this tunnel will lead us to some answers or help”.

Niigaki: Okay, we need to check this out. Junjun get some scissors from Eri’s handbag and cut some of Mitsui’s fur off. Wrap it in a sports towel then get some of the sake Linlin pretends she doesn’t have in her pocket and light the fur. We can use it as torches.

Junjun: Aww. I want to snuggle up to Reina.

Niigaki. Tough. It’ll have to wait.

Junjun: Shit! Mitsui come here.

Mitsui (whimpering) Uh uuuuu.

Linlin: What sake?

Sayumi: Come off it. We all know why you’re always so happy.

Linlin: You can’t take my happy sake.

Niigaki: (advancing) Just watch us.

*************************************************************************

It was dark in the tunnel. Well obviously. Even so it was darker than the depths of Tsunku’s mind when he chose Mitsui for Momusu. Yeah that dark! Niigaki was as usual leading the way, Ai-chan closely holding her hand in the dark and constantly bumping into her when Niigaki would stop suddenly. Niigaki felt a bit wrong for slowing everyone down so much by doing that but considering the danger they could be in why shouldn’t she enjoy herself?

Ai: Why is tunnel dark?

Niigaki: Because there’s no light other than from Mitsui’s lit fur.

Ai: Heh. Why is Mitsui’s fur so rough?

Niigaki: Because she’s a Shitsui. Shitsui’s have fur like that.

Ai: (giggling) Oh.

Niigaki allowed herself another quick rub down there. Well it’s not as if anyone can see and Ai is just so gorgeous. Even if she does make Momoko look intelligent. Suddenly the tunnel opened up in four directions. “Shit” thought Niigaki. “What now?”

Niigaki. Okay everyone peel off.

Junjun: (Eagerly) Our clothes?

Niigaki: No! Let’s all split up and pick a tunnel each.

Reina: (nervously) Do we have to?

Junjun: (grabbing Reina’s arm tightly) Yes! Come on.

Five minutes later and Niigaki is only one minute into her tunnel.

Niigaki: I just can’t help it Ai-chan it’s been so long.

Ai: (breathlessly) It’s okay Gaki-san.

Niigaki plunges her tongue into Ai’s mouth again. Her right hand wandering down Ai’s breasts, over her stomach and down towards Niigaki’s heaven. Unbuttoning Ai’s jeans Niigaki slowly slips her hand in. Ai wriggles with happy anticipation.

Ai: Oh! Gaki-san’s fingers are big-size.

Niigaki: (giggling) And you love it don’t you?

Ai: Why does Gaki-san’s tongue always feel so good?

Niigaki: (her lips close to Ai’s, teasing her, ready to kiss but then pulling back. Going close to kiss again but then at the last moment pulling back again). Because Gaki-san loves you.

Niigaki and Ai kiss passionately. Niigaki starting to lift Ai’s top off. Ai’s arms around Niigaki’s neck, then down to her shirt, unbuttoning. They playfully fight over who is allowed to undress who first. Then Ai gives in as usual. Niigaki pulls Ai’s top off and starts kissing her neck. Then down. Her tongue tasting every inch of Ai’s skin as she heads towards her perfect little breasts. Just then from another tunnel…

“ARRRRRGHH HELP!”

Niigaki: Shit! That sounded like Reina.

*************************************************************************

Buttoning her shirt up as she stumbled back into the entryway Niigaki pauses while trying to remember which way Reina and Junjun had gone. Eri and Mitsui arrive.

Niigaki: For fuck sake Eri what do you think you’re doing?

Eri: I’m tired. Anyway Mitsui doesn’t mind.

Niigaki. She probably does. Anyway she’s already carrying your luggage. She doesn’t need to be carrying you too. Get off her.

Eri: (looking at Ai as she comes out of the tunnel red-faced) Oh sure I’m the only one not allowed a ride huh?

Just then Sayumi and a nervous looking Linlin appear.

Sayumi: What was that scream? Was it Reina? It sounded like Reina?

Linlin: (visibly shaking) Anyone got any sake? Please?

Niigaki: Come on. It sounds like Reina’s in trouble.

The six members of Momusu race into the tunnel as fast as their fourteen legs can carry them.

*************************************************************************

Racing by Mitsui-furlight into the tunnel Reina and Junjun had taken, Niigaki comes to a sudden stop. Ahead of her she could see Reina slumped on the ground.

Niigaki: Reina! What happened?

Reina: We were walking into the tunnel and Mitsui’s fur went out. A few seconds later I started to hear this heavy breathing. The next thing something grabbed me. I screamed and ran. I don’t know where Junjun is. I left her back there somewhere.

Niigaki: What grabbed you? What did it feel like?

Reina: It was like claw-shaped and it pinched me hard on my behind.

Sayumi: It was claw-shaped and it pinched you hard?

Reina: Yes.

Sayumi: That sounds like Junjun.

Eri: Yep. That sounds like Junjun alright.

(General murmurs of agreement all round)

Niigaki: Shit! For Buddha’s sake Reina! You know what Junjun is like. Where was she when you felt the pinch?

Reina: Well she’d been somewhere behind me but then the light went out and it was shortly after that the heavy breathing started and I…I…I was scared!

Just then footsteps come along the tunnel and Junjun stumbles sheepishly into the light of Mitsui’s lit fur.

Junjun: (looking at the accusing faces that greet her) What? Well come on. It was a golden chance.

*************************************************************************

Having abandoned the search of the tunnels the night before, Niigaki slept uneasily. Sure she was snuggled up to Ai, but she could hardly let loose all her desires with so many other light-sleepers around. Suddenly she heard the noise of a commotion.

Eri: Everyone wake up. Mitsui’s gone. Mitsui’s gone.

Junjun: (rubbing tiredness out of her eyes) Quick lets get moving before she comes back again.

(General laughter all round).

Junjun: No, but seriously though…let’s.

Reina: I’m all for it.

Sayumi: Me too.

Linlin: I need a fucking drink.

Niigaki: We’ve still got some water.

Linlin: (looking extremely dishevelled and short-tempered) Fuck you! I want a proper drink you fucking bitch.

Niigaki: Don’t talk to me like that you alcoholic furball. Go eat some bamboo.

Linlin: Go suck a raw fish bitch.

Sayumi: Hey!

Everyone turns to look at Sayumi.

Sayumi: Is that a spot? Oh no it’s just a bit of dirt on my mirror.

Niigaki: Sayumi can you not put that fucking mirror down for five seconds?

Eri: Hey! In case you’ve forgotten, Mitsui’s gone.

Junjun: Oh yeah. So let’s move out quick. Yeah?

Reina: Yeah!

Eri: No! We can’t! Mitsui’s still got my luggage strapped to her back. Niigaki put the rest of the Pocky in there too.

Niigaki: Shit! For Buddha’s sake. Right I guess we’ve got no choice. We’ll have to go search for Mitsui.

Ai: She’s like a dog somehow.

Junjun: Well duh.

*************************************************************************

Mitsui was making good progress. She’d come across the scent while piddling against a tree. She was determined to track it down. “Woof” she thought to herself as the scent got stronger. “Woof woof!” Just then at the bottom of the mountain there came a clearing. Mitsui excitedly ran into it. There it was. She knew there was someone else here. Now across the clearing she could see. It was the body of Kusumi Koharu. She’d been tied to a tree.

*************************************************************************

It was night again by the time the Momusu 8 got back to the cave mouth. Their Pocky was running out and Mitsui only had so much fur left to cut off and light.

Junjun: (crying) Who could have done such a thing to Koha?

Niigaki: I don’t know. I really don’t know. This doesn’t make sense. Didn’t Tsunku say he was sending her for some lessons?

Reina: I think he said she needed teaching a few lessons didn’t he?

Sayumi: Same thing surely. God I’m cute.

Eri: Put the mirror down Sayu.

Sayumi: Aww.

Ai-chan: Why Koharu’s body big-sized?

Niigaki: Because her head was impaled on a branch and the rest of her had been cut up and spread around the tree. Except her torso of course. That was still strapped to the middle.

Linlin: What are we going to do?

Niigaki: Well first we need to find out where we are. Then maybe we can find out who killed Koharu and also find a way off this island.

Linlin: Yeah but what about getting hold of some fucking sake?

Niigaki: You’re warped.

Linlin: So are you. Ai-chan’s not a stool you know.

Niigaki: Huh?

Linlin: Well one day the other week when I couldn’t sleep and we were staying in Tsunku’s house I went to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night and I heard this noise from the living room. I went to the door and there was you naked, using Ai as a chair.

Niigaki: Yes well anyway about these tunnels…

Eri: Yeah see? I’m not allowed to ride Mitsui but she’s allowed to ride Ai-chan.

Junjun: Yeah and when I want to ride Ai-chan Niigaki threatens to extradite me back to China.

Niigaki: This isn’t the time for this.

Linlin: I just want SOME FUCKING SAKE.

Eri: What happened to looking in a mirror and saying you are happy?

Linlin: What happened to your face?

Eri: Huh? Nothing’s happened to my face?

Linlin lunges across at Eri and starts trying to claw her face off. Mitsui barks loudly while Niigaki and Ai try to pull Linlin off. Sayumi impotently bangs at Linlin’s head with her hand mirror. Junjun meanwhile jumps on Reina.

Niigaki: (while struggling to hold down Linlin) Oh thanks for the help Junjun.

Junjun: Hey Reina could have got hurt.

Reina: I can’t breath.

Junjun: Shush. Just lie there quietly. Oh yeah okay wriggle a bit.

Niigaki: Junjun! Stop that! Right that’s it I’ve had enough. We are falling apart. This cannot go on anymore. Mitsui looks like her back will break with the weight of Eri’s luggage, Linlin’s going cold turkey over sake, Sayumi hasn’t put on any make up in days and is starting to look normal and Ai is going to have her period in a few days and I won’t be able to touch her for a week. It’s time for me to do something. It’s time for me TO GET THE MOTHERFUCKING MOMUSU OF THIS MOTHERFUCKING ISLAND.

*************************************************************************

With so little of Mitsui’s fur left to wrap in H!P sports towels and set light to, Niigaki had decided to just light one torch and take all of Momusu into a tunnel at a time. She didn’t want to split everyone up and risk running out of fur and having to light the towels themselves. They were far too dear. Even so after wasting valuable furlight on two tunnels that led to dead-ends she was starting to wonder if she hadn’t made a mistake. Just then, part-way through the third tunnel Eri gave a cry.

Eri: It’s Melon Kinenbi!

Niigaki: Huh? Where?

Eri: Up ahead. I saw them in the shadows of the cave.

Niigaki: Excellent. Our senpais will be able to get us out of here faster than one of their songs drops out the charts.

Eri: Err…not really.

As Niigaki approached the edge of the tunnel the unmistakeable features of the four Melon-Kinenbi members came into view.

Niigaki: Shit. They’re dead. Eri you could have mentioned it.

Eri: Well sorry. I never killed them.

Niigaki: It looks like they’ve been sacrificed. They’re chained to the walls and the one with glasses has had her neck broken. What’s her name anyway?

Junjun: She’s just called the attractive one isn’t she?

Reina: Not sure. I never really paid them any attention.

Niigaki. Okay well there’s only one thing left to do and that’s press on. We must get to the bottom of this.

Junjun: Bottom, yes.

Reina: OW! Junjun!

*************************************************************************

Finally the third tunnel opened up into a chamber. Looking down on it Niigaki spotted a figure sitting at a desk working on a computer.

Niigaki: Look! Down there.

Sayumi: What? A spot?

Reina: She meant down in the chamber, not your chin.

Eri: Put the mirror down Sayu.

Sayumi: Ehhhh? But how would I check if I’m still cute?

Junjun: If you don’t put the mirror down I’m going to play join the dots using your zits.

Sayumi: I don’t have zits.

Junjun: Yeah pull the other one. You’ve got no make-up left remember? There’s nowhere to hide.

Niigaki: Shut up all of you. We don’t know if that person down there is friendly or not. Remember all the dead bodies? Koha, the Melons? We’ll sneak down quietly and try to see what he’s up…

Linlin: HEY MATE. YOU GOT ANY SAKE? PLEASE? IF NOT YOU GOT ANY SPARE CHANGE SO I CAN GO AND GET SOME?

Niigaki: Buddha!

The figure in the chair slowly turns round and looks up.

(General gasps from the idols).

Niigaki: OH. MY. BUDDHA!

Reina: It’s…you.

Eri: I don’t believe it.

Mitsui. Woof!

Ai: Yes. Cavern is big-sized.

Junjun: And your brain is still small-sized. It’s Tsunku down there!

Tsunku: Ah welcome my idols. I’ve been expecting you.

*************************************************************************

Tsunku leads the Momusu into a small room off the chamber. In it is a recording studio, lots of musical intruments and a small but well-stocked torture chamber off in the corner.

Tsunku: I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since Fujimoto Miki left. Finally the time has come.

Junjun: What do you mean you were expecting us? You can’t have known we’d crash here.

Tsunku: Oh but I did. Those rocks were planted there on purpose. In fact there were rocks across the whole sea bed. Sonar equipment wouldn’t have picked them up as they were made out of the empty cases of unsold H!P cd’s from 2007 to the present day. I told them to stop printing so many. I told them that the days of Love Machine were far gone. But would they listen? No. AKB are selling hundreds of thousands they said. Why can’t we? I tried to explain that with only two members who could sing there was no chance of that but they wouldn’t listen. So finally I had no choice.

Niigaki: What are you saying?

Tsunku: For the past three years I’ve been working for Yasushi Akimoto.

Reina: Huh?

Mitsui: Woof woof? Grr.

Tsunku: Yes that’s right. For the past three years, ever since Yossie and Miki left, I’ve been working for AKB48.

Niigaki: Of course! It all makes sense now. Mikan, Mitsui, that shit tenth album. It was you.

Tsunku. Yes it was me. Of course it was me. It was always me. Who else wrote boring singles? Who else tried to destroy H!P by giving C-ute less and less interesting songs? Who was it that tried to scupper the wonderful S/mileage by making them collect pictures? Seriously that back-fired. Who knew there were still 10,000 H!P fans out there?

Reina: You bastard!

Tsunku: Well despite everything Hello! Project just kept on going. I knew I couldn’t just leave and go straight to AKB. It’s not the done thing to move to another company. I mean I may be a murderer, I may have foisted Mitsui onto the world, I may have tortured and murdered Koharu for being too interesting, but I’m no Kago Ai.

Niigaki: Well that’s fair enough.

Eri: Yeah can’t argue with that.

Tsunku: So you see why I had to lure you here? Despite all my best efforts to ruin it H!P still kept on going. I needed to do something drastic to end it all. I’d tried writing boring songs. I’d tried pushing Berryz Koubou even though they are dull. I’d even started getting Makoto to do the idols hair. (Laughing at Niigaki) I can’t believe you fell for that. MaiMai and most of S/mileage too. Ha!

Niigaki: YOU BASTARD! You said it looked good. You promised!

Tsunku: And still it wasn’t enough. So the only thing left was to destroy H!P more directly and the best way to do that was to use Momusu. You see you killed Koha. You killed Melon Kinenbi. Then you committed a mass suicide because you couldn’t take the pain of working for H!P anymore. When they find your bodies and your suicide note, which I’ve already printed out and had one of you sign, they’ll shut H!P down for good. Then I can start working for AKB under a new name. I’m thinking of using John Paul George-Ringo. What do you think?

Niigaki: Who the fuck signed the suicide note?

Tsunku: Mitsui put her paw-print on it last week. She didn’t know what she was doing of course. Dogs can’t read.

Reina: You insane genius.

Tsunku: Thank you.

Niigaki: But one thing I don’t understand. What’s all this equipment doing here?

Tsunku: Oh I’ve been using some of your previous recording sessions to create new songs. They’re monstrous. It’ll look like you’ve been making them yourself. A Michishige duet with Mitsui, Junjun and Linlin singing in Chinese. Ai just singing backing vocals.

Reina: That’s insane!

Tsunku: Exactly. Nobody in their right mind would produce such a thing. It’ll prove that Momusu themselves had gone mad and imploded.

Junjun: You’ll never get away with this.

Tsunku: Yeah well you’ll never get a career in China you fucking bamboo eater. Now if you wouldn’t mind all stepping into the corner. I’ll be sealing the room shortly and pumping in some gas. It will look like suicide. Then to celebrate I’ll have a little drinky of this sake here (turning and picking up a glass) and then I’ll be off.

Linlin: Sake? SAKE? SAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Tsunku didn’t know what hit him. By the time his head had hit the floor Linlin had already clawed his throat out. By the time the police turned up Linlin was finishing off the last of the drink and was beaming happily.

Linlin: (huge grin) HELLO!

Inspector Pepper: Err…hi. Are you okay?

Linlin: Oh yes. Earlier today, having not eaten anything but Pocky in ages and having not had any sake for at least 24 hours, and having discovered the dead bodies of my friend Koharu and four senpai’s and then having been forced into this torture chamber, I just looked in a mirror and said “yes! I’m happy today as well”.

Inspector Pepper: Err…right. Is there anybody here who is sane?

Niigaki: Only me I’m afraid.

Inspector Pepper: You? With that hair? You look like you’ve had it cut by that Makoto bloke.

Niigaki: Buddha!

*************************************************************************

Later that evening the Momusu 8 were relaxing in Aunt Yuko’s. Although they’d seen the mutilated body of Kusumi Koharu and also the corpses of those Melons, and although the police had also found the remains of Erika Miyoshi, Okada Yui, Kanna Arihara, Maiha Ishimura, Natsumi Abe and Erika Umeda they all agreed it had been quite an adventure. And at least the evil Tsunku was now behind bars where he belonged. Linlin had her Sake again. Eri had her room all messed up, Mitsui had a nice big bone, Sayumi had a full-sized mirror and Reina had Junjun playfully sitting on her…face. Also Ai-chan’s period wasn’t for another day or two so Niigaki would be happily tucking in to some hair-pie later that night.

Yuko: Come on everyone. Dinner’s ready. It’s Pocky marinaded in Sake.

Niigaki: POCKY! Hurrah! If it wasn’t for Pocky we’d have probably all starved.

Junjun: And Sake too. If it wasn’t for Linlin being such an alcoholic Tsunku would probably have killed us all.

(General laughter).

Eri: Three cheers for Pocky and sake. Hello! Project Hello! Project.

(Everyone) “Hurray”.

Eri: Hello! Project Hello! Project.

(Everyone) “Hurray”.

Eri: Hello! Project Hello! Project.

(Everyone) “Hurray”.

Mitsui: Woof woof woof.

And with that joke from Mitsui everyone laughed and continued laughing deep into the early evening. Before Niigaki took Ai to bed for a night of red-hot passion and Junjun butt-fucked Reina with a strap-on in that way she knows she likes really. Sayu lay under her mirrored ceiling touching herself, Eri lay on the floor in her room orgasming over the mess she’d made. Linlin fell asleep pissed off her tits and Mitsui was curled up in a basket with her nose by her arse. Which perhaps explains all her awful expressions. And they all lived happily ever after.

14 responses to “Eight Go Mad on Tsunku’s Island

  1. “Niigaki (turning her head to look behind her) HEY SAYUMI DO YOU SEE ANYTHING?

    Sayumi: YES! I’M STILL CUTE TODAY.

    Niigaki: SAYUMI…PUT THE FUCKING MIRROR DOWN.

    Sayumi: Aww. OKAY…I CAN SEE MY CHIN. IT’S KAWAII.”

    That is absolutely golden. I seriously couldn’t stop laughing, heck, I’m still snickering about it lol

  2. This is just so awesome. I don’t have words for it!
    It should be released as a book and then made into a movie. :p

    But yeah. I just can’t stop laughing about the Reina blogging part.
    AND I WANT SOME FUCKING SAKE!!

    • I kind of overlooked Reina too much. I’m glad I at least put in the pictures part and the bit about getting a signal. I meant to have her constantly changing her clothes for every scene but forgot. I figured I’d play up her whole H!P fashionista image.

      I’ve gotta say though I love her blog pics. Damn that girl is photogenic. She’s overdue another pb (but not until Junjun gets one thanks).

      • Yeah, there could be more Reina.
        The changing clothes every scene would be awesome. haha. I simply love that girl..

        And yeah. Those blog pics really are something. I’m just falling longer and longer for her. I’m seconding that overdue pb comment. She really needs another one. Or, I need to see another one of her :p

        And hopefully my 2 month stay in Japan this summer will give me some MM/Reina glancing.

        Speaking of, I’m going to check out that S/Mileage Mosaic Board as well!

  3. This post took me out of the lurker mode, for what it’s worth 8D
    First of All, i REALLY enjoy reading your blog cause it has so much Aichan praising ♥ It’s always nice to know there are peeps that, just like me, think she’s the friggin goddess 8D

    I checked your blog just when you posted the entry,and it had me entertained for some time before going to sleep lol xD I showed it to my friends too and laughed my head off with them, and now i decided to feedback cause it’s just. epic xD
    AiGaki smex was ♥

    And the part with LinLin attacking Eri and then the Junrei made me fall off my seat lmao xD it still cracks me up 8D
    my god xD

    Quoting the first commenter, in conclusion, this is GOLD. 8D Ada happily approves *thumbs up*

    Are we expecting some more epicness like this anytime soon? 😀

    • Thanks a lot for the comment. It means a lot to get positive feedback when doing something a bit different on the blog.

      Ai-chan is number 1 always for me. Past, present and future.

      The way Junjun is with Reina…she’d totally be like that for real if she could get away with it. 😀

      I wouldn’t rule out doing another ‘fan-fiction’ in the future. Probably involving Momusu but with other H!P members too. But I have no plans to right now. But if I get a good idea…

  4. Pingback: Eight Run Away And Go Adventuring On A Hike Together At Tsunkucock Hill In A Campervan And Get Into Trouble « Morningtime·

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