And Now The News Headlines

Rumours surface that Niigaki Risa is wanted by the police for grooming an underage girl…

Fans are worried that Mano Erina may have money troubles…

Ai-chan reacts to the news that Mitsui Aika thinks her first photobook will be sexy…

Morningtime’s Christmas charity message warning people of the foolishness of giving dogs as presents is criticised by animal rights activists…

“Dogs aren’t that ugly and annoying” said a spokesman for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. However the RSPCML (the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Music Lovers) have come forward to request the use of the photo for their charity.

Michishige Sayumi is accused of taking her bitchy persona a step too far…

“Give me my lunch back” says upset child.

New Japanese campaign to get more people using gyms is proclaimed a turtle success…

Oh sorry that should read “total success”. >.>

Following the release of her first photobook Kanna Arihara salutes her former record company…

Critics claim Hello! Project members aren’t being paid enough…

“First Mano Erina is caught in a compensated dating scandal and now this” said one fanclub member who didn’t wish to be named. He then continued “I think it’s demeaning that a talented young idol should have to be subjected to such unsavoury demands. It’s nothing short of abuse really. The frankly immoral and disgusting things a poor young idol is subjected to in that sort of establishment is heartbreaking. I could almost cry. I mean at least Mano only had to sleep with someone. Poor Ai-chan and Nacky!”

The recession is blamed for Hello! Project cost cutting…

“We can barely afford the money for pv’s anymore let alone petrol” said a spokesman.

Following her move into the compensated dating market Mano Erina cards go up in phoneboxes across Tokyo…

“Ring Mano to arrange some hot tongue action. You’ll love a piece of her paradise. Say hello to her kitty and get ready to feel a lucky aura. Mano will tinkle your ivories for a very reasonable price. Don’t wait until tomorrow, have Mano perform on your piano today”.

Mitsui Aika’s first photobook previews appear. There’s the obligatory school uniform and bikini shots…

Following the popular trend of maid cafes in Japan comes the worlds first cafe to offer Maeda service…

S/mileage are criticised for their artists impression of the forthcoming Morning Musume OG concert…

S/mileage reply to the criticism of their artists impression of the forthcoming Morning Musume OG concert…

Aww diddums!

The Hello! Online Picboard reaches new levels of taste-free insanity…

Sick of being overlooked by Tsunku one member of C-ute goes to ever more extreme measures to upstage Airi…

Takahashi Ai in dating scandal…

“I didn’t even know she knew 70’s footballer Kevin Keegan” said one disappointed fan.

Morningtime is sacked from his job designing Hello! Project front covers following this abandoned cover…

The true face of Maeda Yuuka is revealed according to a H!P insider…

She’s actually a 19th century cockney street urchin vampire who stays young on the blood of idols” said the Hello! Project insider who didn’t wish to be named. The insider (who we’ll name as Saho Akari anyway) continued “she doesn’t deserve to be in S/mileage. She should be staked through the heart and replaced by me…err I mean by a suitable replacement. And don’t get me started on Wada Ayaka and Fukuda Kanon. Mind you that jammy bitch Ogawa Saki is the worst”.

Hello! Project’s new production “Peter Pai meets Little Red Riding Hoodie” is acclaimed a great success…

Critics say Ai-Pan…I mean Ai-chan stole the show.

More news same time next…err…year.

7 responses to “And Now The News Headlines

  1. OY!? Where in heavens name did you get that photo of me handing Erina that money?!
    Thats supposed to be secure on my computer -_-

    Great post once again =D Makes me laugh

  2. Well, at least I’ll have motivation to go to the gym after those trips to McDonald’s…😉

    Seriously, where did the McDonald’s pic come from? I am strangely fascinated by HP pics featuring western brand names and/or uniforms.

    The Mano pics interest me as well, though in my heart of hearts I think Mano has a strange fascination with buttocks. I have no clue where it originated but I find the idea of her running up and squeezing the bums of random strangers while yelling “BUTTOCKS!!!” to be highly amusing and disturbing in equal measure. It just seems like something she would do. Yeah, I’m not right in the head. lol

  3. Non0bb – I have all the dirt on every blogger. You should see what Clocutron gets up to with Berryz Koubou. I could go into details but this is a family blog.😛

    Pex – The McDonald’s pics surfaced on Hello! Online recently. McD are also doing a Lilpri Happy Meal set.

    http://www.mcdonalds.co.jp/happyset/index.html#/next

    Note the link to S/mileage’s website at the bottom of that page.

    Apparently in Japan it must be Ronald’s brother who runs McD.

    http://www.mcdonalds.co.jp/donaldroom/index.html

    Donald McDonald?😄

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention And Now The News Headlines « Morningtime -- Topsy.com·

  5. Funny post!😀

    As for the Sayu pic, I thought he was saying, “Hey cutie, can I buy you a drink?”😄

  6. [stares at gym Kamei photo]

    mmmmm…..

    Oh. Good post morningtime, always good to have a refreshing news story in the morning. Now if you’ll excuse me.

    [stares at gym Kamei photo]

    mmmmm…..

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