Hello. Shh…be very quiet.
You join me on the set of Michishige Sayumi’s latest dvd Horney. I’ve been sitting here watching Sayu sleep for about 30 minutes now and I can confirm that yes…I am horny.
And now…yes…now we can see the rare and beautiful sight of an idol waking up and stretching and looking ready for breakfast…mine. Omnomnom and indeed NOM!
And now the rare sight of an idol reading a broadsheet newspaper in bed. Probably checking out the share prices of cute things.
“Share prices of bunny ears have gone up 50 yen. Yay! I think I’ll stretch some more now.”
Well it’s been 45 minutes now and I’m still horney. This dvd certainly lives up to it’s name. Well it couldn’t fail to with Sayumi in it. I wonder why there’s a misspelt ‘e’ though? What? Oh it’s not Horny? Aww but that would suit a Sayu dvd so much. Oh well I guess honey works well too. After all Sayu is every wota’s honey. If you licked the sweat from her sexy and cute little body it would probably taste as sweet as honey anyway and…what? It’s not called Honey either? What is it called then? HUH? WHAT? Homey? HOMEY? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA! Yes…I can see that. Sayu just hangin’ with the homegirls down in da hood.
Anyway onto the interview. Sayu thank you for cumming…I mean coming. Freudian slip there. >.>
So Sayumi. You joined Morning Musume at a very young age and instantly became young teen eye-candy for a nation of middle-aged wotas. What was it like being the young schoolgirl lust object of lots of older men?
Uhuh. I bet having joined at the same time as Reina that means you’ve slept with older men for money? What was that like?
I can imagine. You must make good money though? Isn’t it a risk? I mean if it leaks out there could be trouble…I mean if the news of what you are doing leaks out that is. >.> Well come to think of it any leaking out could cause problems. But this must be a concern for your manager?
You are addicted to the money? I understand. What of your fans though? When they think of you what do you think they are thinking? If you get my drift? What is the image that comes to their minds when they think “Sayumi”?
…err yes I think I can see where this is heading. Moving on…
…I said “moving on”! Are you sure this dvd isn’t supposed to be called “Horny”? Well regardless what do you think of your overseas fans?
But you couldn’t eat a whole one? Ahahahah. Ahem. Anyway let’s have some quick random questions…Richard Gere’s ideal mate is?
Correct. You’ve heard that rumour in Japan too then?
I see. What do you call the leader of the United States of America?
What do you do if you are in a record shop and you see a bunch of Aya Matsuura cd’s on sale cheap?
Correct. Hey you’re good at quizzes.
Well that may be so. Moving on from the quick-fire random questions I’d like to talk about your kohai in Momusu. First of all Koharu. What do you think was the main point of choosing her?
And how about Mitsui ‘Woof Woof’ Aika? Do you think anyone knows why she was picked?
Yes I think the kennels she escaped from owe all of us an apology.
I take it you have gone to her and tried…
Biting? I guess that’s always a problem. There’s always a danger she will do that isn’t there?
Obviously there’s no challenge from Mitsui but who would you say is your main rival in Hello! Project in terms of cuteness?
To be honest…yeah I agree. I think it’s time you got dressed now…
…Okay sayumi it’s time to continue our interview. First off some quick questions again. What’s your favourite Doctor Who story?
Oh a Peter Davison era fan? That’s surprising.
How often do you fantasise about being seduced by an English wota?
^^ Why helloooo. So do you like me then?
Okay…err…can we take a break from this interview for like…a few hours?
Oh Sayu I can see it in your eyes. That lust. ^^
Well I have to admit…no. You are YUMMY! (Sigh)
Okay so it’s now a few hours later. Sayu how was it for you?
Anyway continuing our interview I have one final question. I’m sure there are many men out there who want to spend time with you. You are very popular. Do you think this popularity will continue to rise? Do you think more people will get to know you?
I see. So you think you can get more ordinary members of the public to experience your deep parts?
I see…I think you’ve been hanging around with Reina too much. Anyway Michishige Sayumi you’ve been a delicious pleasure as always. Thank you!
Michishige Sayumi is simple a deliciously guilty pleasure. Like the best most luxurious chocolate cake. This dvd actually has far more talking than any of the previous e-Hello dvd’s. This is great as you get to hear her opinions on a variety of things including most touchingly Kamei Eri and Junjun. The dvd is well worth a watch!